Christians are straight up FREAKS
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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