I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm too high and old for this...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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