I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
