So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
