How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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