So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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