i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
