Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
