I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
