It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
