maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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