It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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