grandma shit on top of the toilet
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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