we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
