so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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