that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
