Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
