her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
