His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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