I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
