We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
