yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
farters have to be the big spoon...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I see more hoeing in ur future
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