Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
