But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My vagina is officially offended.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize