well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He did a backflip because drugs
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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