dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
