Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
