am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
