i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
