so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize