coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
