ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
