You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
