i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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