i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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