I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
