He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
