He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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