hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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