I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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