you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
