i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
