I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
last night I used snow as a chaser
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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