12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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