dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
