shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
