After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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