Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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