Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
