last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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