I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
