I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
