Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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