If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
