You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
