We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
