he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
