Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
