sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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