weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Randomize
