Me. At least after what I've been through.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize