To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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