If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
