take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
where am i from again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
