did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
